Believing more often than not, they are unhealthy because humans compromise their perceptiveness in the midst. They get insecure, they are unable to cope with losing, and they hurt others in the process. Sometimes, they win through the grace of others, but yet the arrogance get to their heads and they forgot. Sometimes, they boast to your parents and they give you hell for not achieving the same.
Believe it or not, I have always disengaged if I could. By rationalization.
...
In the order of nature, you are allocated a place. Impacted by genes, family status and ability at birth, and moulded by attitude and effort in cultivation. And because the factors at birth cannot be changed, you can max the knob on attitude and effort, but you reach a point where you just cant go any further, by when you can choose to feel frustrated, or accept that you have done your best for yourself and this is it.
Losing does not bother me much. Im better off fighting against evil my way.. taa daa
I perhaps did not max out what I can do but I at most wonder what would happen if I had. I do not resent where I stand though. I do not believe I am number 1 in any way. I dont even think I am close.
Like i once told a sweet pal , I have landed somewhere in a mediocre band in the order of nature and in society and in this country.
Its understandable why some may not want to accept this. They spend most of their lives believing that their lives are not theirs, that they deserve more, only to realise that they cannot amputate their own level of abilities and expect a completely different level of achievements.
If one insist in competing beyond themselves, I question what end point does he/she want? What lies after this race? You can be better than one, then there is always another to beat.
When I recently wrote it to someone in Chinese, it was such a simple 5 words:
难免有高低
If you are X, you would be tempted to fight X+1, hoping to escalate a position, the fight X +....
and on it goes.That is why, it is pointless to fight if you will never accept your position. It's a vicious and destructive process where you painfully watch and lose them,
Over the past few months, I have tried to take an objective viewpoint, watching myself for bias. I exercised a lot more patience than I thought I had. I listened to the opinions of others and remembered to see for myself. And I am praying I picked an appropriate forum by telling you here so that we can cast aside the need to put up a front whether for the sake of self or the other.
I can only tell you I am worried when I see your responses and emotions in reaction to what I did or received.
I hope that you can understand that things in our lives need not be placed side by side in comparison. I having my way of things, and you to yours. It's our respective entitlements.
There will be situations where I am bound by duty, obligation and principles to do things that are not to your liking and preference. When that happens, I can only hope to get your trust that no matter how it doesnt look or sound nice, I do not wish you misfortune and I have only a public interest, including yours, at heart. But because some things can only be told through time and experience, it could be years before I can hope for your understanding. So you can either trust me, or you dont.
And where I can help it, I will walk away from any state of competition, if that is what it takes.
I hope at the end of the day, I would not lose a very treasured friend.
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