I noticed that this year, the fad is to declare to the world that you have no new year resolutions
So everyone was like "nah... no resolutions, they are dumb" "i dont keep to mine anyway"
Even the Pastor at Trinity said that
suddenly, thats like cool.
So how? i PURPOSELY have one resolution when no one else is having any.
OK this year i will make it a point to update my blog.
that way if i die or sumthing, people actually notice.
"Eh... what happened to esther huh. recently never blog. she always blog one leh... im worried. Lets call her"
ring ring
"hello"
"esther, where have u been? im so worried cos u did not blog for sum time"
"You were worried about ME!! thats sooo sweet!!!"
Ya rite.
No i figured if I dont, people actually forget that I exist. Or people meet me on the street and we lapse into awkward silences in between empty boh talk
Which reminds me. that day i was walking around the marketplace at my house, wearing v lok cos i was headed to Dan's and i know he will love me no matter how ugly i look and he promised.
yah. so i was walking, outside cheers, pondering whether to buy calbee or ruffles chips
den i passed by a guy who gave me a look. Immediately, paranoid city. FINE LA, LOOK LA, I UGLY CANNOT MEH
Den he said "Esther!"
I was thinking, wa now ugly also can become famous arh
I stared at him for a good 3 mins and was convinced that I have no name in my mind
He said "its me la"
Mind : of cos its u la, if not me meh?
Face break into this sweet have-mercy-on-me smile
He said "from vball la"
Me "o... orhhhhh..." wa shit, shit, shit. i now know u are from vball and i think yes i know u but... "erm so whats ur name huh"
Well the conversation just went downhill from there. What u doing here oh i pei my mother buy groceries ahaha thats nice so where you stay...
and it was punctuated with awkward silences. im pretty sure he wished he had never shouted "Esther!"
sigh. why must people talk. dont talk everything will be fine ma, rite
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Ok why am i rambling. Cos its CNY Da Nian Chu Yi Night. I have nothing to do, and Dan is in malaysia. that makes me miserable. Laoshu gave me a tight slap that day and asked me to be more independent
this is how im talking to Dan
free internet sms. to see if we can cut roaming charges. if not, well... at least we tried
i missed him so much. So now Da nian chu yi, i PURPOSELY put one picture we took at xmas
i'm going to be honest here. i miss him like crazy.
anyway i give up being good. Im already publicly recognized as playful. thats the adjective stuck to me like toilet paper to a wet ass. From young my parents are like "Behave yourself ok Esther" But Dan is the one who welcomes it. He lets me be myself and still tells me im v attractive. so its like, i can have pimples lined in a T shape across my face. YAY.
but i miss him. how can i miss him so much when we see each other so much for so long?
Today one of the aunts from my grandaunt side gave me a da-nian-chu-yi talk.
Time out: Esthers dictionary
Da-Nian-Chu-Yi Talk- ~noun: a talk you have on da nian chu yi. duh. but it means different things for different people: ie Kids: "so how are your grades?", teens "which institute are you going to", grads "so have you found a job? how is it?", single adults "Got bf? when are you getting married?" Married adults: "when having baby. does ur mother-in-law sucks?"
Ok so she came to me. She is nice and civilised and educated and all. then she asked me "So when is your Big Day?"
ive been asked that by others le, so i ti gong. den she started talking about saving, getting married early, not to be a mother later than 30 if not no stamina....
Wa
then it dawned on me that I am not the person I was a few years ago. One of the kids. I cannot just start carrying my young cousins and spin them around to camouflage myself as one of the kids le.
So i stoned for the rest of Nian chu yi, thinking why i cannot be a carefree lil kid anymore. Most of the time i just stared into space on a chair. Well thats my role now didnt you say? I am a marriagable adult. Ie. I am boring.
My cousin kelly stoned too. but thats cos she was lacking cigarettes.
I contacted Dan later and he was experiencing the same thing over at the causeway. Things are probably happening at a higher scale (ratio Peninsular malaysia: Singapore). Cos his relatives are probably more vocal, and he is much older. He is 28! quack! LAOOOOO
Lets just take it, friends. we have to stop playing and start thinking about real issues.
Sucks man.
xin nian kuai le la. whatever la. bye.
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